Hey Victor and class,
Here are a few options I roughed out for possible beginnings for my shot, to better give the reason behind the knife being in the scene. The new beginning poses are still rough, it's mainly just to get the idea across to see what might be the best option.
This first option has the knife as a paring knife, so thats why she has the apple in the beginning too. Also why I'm leaning towards this one is that I like the idea of having her eating lunch by herself in a bathroom stall to push that notion of who she is and her backstory.
https://www.dropbox.com/sc/wll0d5tpitky49l/AAAab1xJpO1d9N5AiSS5loCga
The second idea is still pretty rough but the idea is that she would be scratching out some writing that was wrote about her on the bathroom stall wall.
https://www.dropbox.com/sc/bg4yi2jcpv3y9l8/AAAtKjIILFWfrSM8AAENHpXaa
The last option I roughed out is that she would be toying with the knife and stabbing the toilet seat out of frustration.
https://www.dropbox.com/sc/n5smsnkuu4tn4ye/AADVgTaWRUJuoATk9fTb5LIwa
Thanks!
-Rami
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ReplyDeleteHi Rami! Great ideas! I like 2nd and 3rd one. I like how those both start the shot having her hold a knife from the beginning. so for me, the shot was simpler (less business going on..) and better at focusing on her thought process. that's the purpose of this shot right? her thought process. I like the first one too but I wonder if you can start the shot having her hold a knife already. maybe she was using the knife to cut the apple.. and I was also feeling weary when she pulled a knife from her lunch paper bag. usually I wouldn't carry knife without any cover (?) in a paper bag. otherwise, the knife can accidentally break a bag and she or other people can get hurt by that. Overall, I like how she was toying with her knife in the beginning and comes up with an idea of different use of knife. it's interesting!!
DeleteHey Rami, yeah I agree with Faith. The 2nd and 3rd are a little more clear. If you wanted to do the first one you might need some more time to read the apple. On the second one maybe have her head turn a little more towards camera. We're losing her eyes in the profile. The action reads clear to me its just her face. Also with the last pose for the 2nd and 3rd just bring the knife up away from her leg. Looks kind of like shes going to stab herself. Looks good though!
ReplyDeleteHello Rami, I have a similar idea with Faith and Colter and my favorite is the 2nd shot. As Colter mentioned, you could move her or the camera. Now she has three phrases which are "scratching the wall", "oh, this is a knife!" and "revenge." I think her 2nd phrase could be earlier while she is scratching the wall, she notices "Oh, this is a knife!" and then she turns her body and she decides to revenge. It might save the timing of transition to the 2nd phrase from the 1st. And you could spend more time for her thought processes. Overall, looking good :) Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteHey Faith, Colter, and Grace thanks a bunch for the notes and feedback! It seems like shot 2 is the more popular choice so far, I'll keep refining that shot and get your notes in. Thanks again guys!
ReplyDeleteHi Rami, I agree that 2 and 3 are working best, with 2 seeming to be the stronger candidate. Try having her scratch on the wall more above the toilet paper so that we can see her face better, as Colter mentioned. You'll need to find something better to do with her other hand - perhaps it could be braced against the wall. She seems to run out of energy after the scratching. It might be nice to keep some intensity in the turn, which would then contrast more with the beat of realization. That beat (around 125) looks a little too relaxed in the face. Keep some of the tension so the attitude change is more subtle. Finally, get specific with the physicality of her sitting on the toilet seat (video reference time!) and what exactly she is scratching out on the wall. Is it a name? An insulting joke about her?
ReplyDeleteGood stuff - I look forward to seeing your progress on Wednesday!
-v
Hey Victor, thanks for the notes, I'll have these in by Wednesday!
Delete-Rami