A private blog for Victor Navone's "Advanced Animation Critique" class at the Animation Collaborative, winter 2015 session.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Latest stepped pass
Hey class, here's a pass with the notes from class and I tried getting the breathing in there. I'm about to head into splines but here's my latest stepped pass for your thoughts.
This is really great!! I like how she changes her attitude and energy like explosion to decision. I also totally understand her thought process because it is very simple and clear.
By the way, I have two ideas about her eye directions. In F36 -38, I think she could still look at what she is doing. I did not catch at the first time when she scratched the toilet paper holder. Her eye direction might be helpful to read her performance, When she looks at the knife again (from F131), I think her eyes are off a little bit. I guess it is a rigging problem but you could pull forward her pupils a little bit if you can. Then, we feel her connection with the knife. (Probably my explanation is not good, so I uploaded the image Link : https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/104126944/02.jpg) One last thing is when she makes a decision (from F184), I think she could tense more like closing her mouth and subtle eyebrows tension (she might open her mouth a little bit before this)
Overall, looking good and thank you for sharing your process:) Good luck!
(sorry for the messy reply. I deleted accidently..) Hello Rami. I just have an idea for your leg poses. It's just my idea so choice is yours. https://www.dropbox.com/s/cpg226nsnrf5tft/idea.jpg?dl=0 I draw something. I felt like her pelvis is facing too front while her upper body is facing on the wall. It feels a little bit unnatural to me So I draw one leg putting on the ground and the other leg folded. for me, this pose feels more natural. but if you have your own reason why you chose that legs pose , then it's totally fine. I just wanted to share my thought about her legs pose. Thanks!!
Hey Rami, Good job man, you can really feel her anger. I agree with Grace, It didn't feel like she was looking at the knife at the end. Her eyes direction are a little bit off. Also it took me about 4 or 5 read before I noticed she stabbed the toilet paper thing. Maybe it's just me. But i think you can accentuate that by having more texture in her movement. It feels that the scratches the wall and hit the thing at the same pace.
Hi Rami, this is looking really good. I agree with the comments about the look to the knife. Rather than adjust her eyeline to make her look down further, I would try pulling her screen left arm further towards camera so it's a bit more in front of her. I also like Faith's idea for the leg pose - it feels less static, symmetrical, and composed. The energy of the breathing is working much better, and I like how she feels unfocused after the explosion of energy. I think you could push the left-to-right of the eye direction a bit more here. For example, around frame 78 she could be looking slightly to screen right, then come back to what you have on frame 87. Finally, give the final expression some more frames to hold. I didn't even see it the first few times I looped the shot. It needs at least 8 frames to really read, but I think it deserves at least 18 frames. Have her face turned a bit more towards camera fro this.
Hello Rami,
ReplyDeleteThis is really great!! I like how she changes her attitude and energy like explosion to decision. I also totally understand her thought process because it is very simple and clear.
By the way, I have two ideas about her eye directions. In F36 -38, I think she could still look at what she is doing. I did not catch at the first time when she scratched the toilet paper holder. Her eye direction might be helpful to read her performance,
When she looks at the knife again (from F131), I think her eyes are off a little bit. I guess it is a rigging problem but you could pull forward her pupils a little bit if you can. Then, we feel her connection with the knife. (Probably my explanation is not good, so I uploaded the image Link : https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/104126944/02.jpg)
One last thing is when she makes a decision (from F184), I think she could tense more like closing her mouth and subtle eyebrows tension (she might open her mouth a little bit before this)
Overall, looking good and thank you for sharing your process:) Good luck!
Grace
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete(sorry for the messy reply. I deleted accidently..) Hello Rami. I just have an idea for your leg poses. It's just my idea so choice is yours.
Deletehttps://www.dropbox.com/s/cpg226nsnrf5tft/idea.jpg?dl=0
I draw something. I felt like her pelvis is facing too front while her upper body is facing on the wall. It feels a little bit unnatural to me So I draw one leg putting on the ground and the other leg folded. for me, this pose feels more natural. but if you have your own reason why you chose that legs pose , then it's totally fine. I just wanted to share my thought about her legs pose. Thanks!!
Hey Rami, Good job man, you can really feel her anger.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Grace, It didn't feel like she was looking at the knife at the end. Her eyes direction are a little bit off.
Also it took me about 4 or 5 read before I noticed she stabbed the toilet paper thing. Maybe it's just me. But i think you can accentuate that by having more texture in her movement. It feels that the scratches the wall and hit the thing at the same pace.
Hi Rami, this is looking really good. I agree with the comments about the look to the knife. Rather than adjust her eyeline to make her look down further, I would try pulling her screen left arm further towards camera so it's a bit more in front of her. I also like Faith's idea for the leg pose - it feels less static, symmetrical, and composed. The energy of the breathing is working much better, and I like how she feels unfocused after the explosion of energy. I think you could push the left-to-right of the eye direction a bit more here. For example, around frame 78 she could be looking slightly to screen right, then come back to what you have on frame 87. Finally, give the final expression some more frames to hold. I didn't even see it the first few times I looped the shot. It needs at least 8 frames to really read, but I think it deserves at least 18 frames. Have her face turned a bit more towards camera fro this.
ReplyDeleteGood work!
Hey Grace, Faith, Charles and Victor!
ReplyDeleteThanks a bunch for all the great notes and feedback, I should get them in by class, see you all Wednesday.