Hi Alvin, Thanks for posting this. I think SyncSketch links will be even more useful once we get to polish! Here are some thoughts: - Adding the time and dialog to the head as we discussed of the shot improves the progression of acting. - I'm a little worried about "you have to fucking talk to me" though as it might be inappropriate for your reel. Some recruiters could be offended by the f-bomb. - I didn't read the connecting between the off-screen person and the light in the first viewing. I think you need to make this more clear but putting more of the assistant on screen, or perhaps show the action of her grabbing the light before she moves it. - I like the device of the patient's head in the center of frame, but it's too big and it's hiding too much of the dentist. Try lowering it and scaling the hair down a bit (see drawing) - You've got the action of him pushing the light away happening at the same time as he looks down. This is confusing to the viewer, so you should separate these beats. I suggest doing the look down first, then save the lamp push for an accent during the dialog. This will also allow him to use his free hand to pull down the mask, instead of the hand holding the tool, which is a bit awkward. - His acting is looking good, but see if you can sell the build up just a bit more. Maybe you could have his pupils roll up or go internal before the eyes close, and perhaps add a little movement while he holds his eyes closed. Could he remove the tool from the patient's mouth in an interesting way? I hope these notes help. Looking good!
I was planning to bleep the f-bomb. I'm going to experiment with having the hand grab the light at the head of the shot to make it more clear. Let me see how I can best apply your notes.
One quick question: you mentioned having his eyes possibly roll up before they eyes close. I'm not sure which part of the animation you were talking about when you said that.
Hi Alvin, Thanks for posting this. I think SyncSketch links will be even more useful once we get to polish! Here are some thoughts:
ReplyDelete- Adding the time and dialog to the head as we discussed of the shot improves the progression of acting.
- I'm a little worried about "you have to fucking talk to me" though as it might be inappropriate for your reel. Some recruiters could be offended by the f-bomb.
- I didn't read the connecting between the off-screen person and the light in the first viewing. I think you need to make this more clear but putting more of the assistant on screen, or perhaps show the action of her grabbing the light before she moves it.
- I like the device of the patient's head in the center of frame, but it's too big and it's hiding too much of the dentist. Try lowering it and scaling the hair down a bit (see drawing)
- You've got the action of him pushing the light away happening at the same time as he looks down. This is confusing to the viewer, so you should separate these beats. I suggest doing the look down first, then save the lamp push for an accent during the dialog. This will also allow him to use his free hand to pull down the mask, instead of the hand holding the tool, which is a bit awkward.
- His acting is looking good, but see if you can sell the build up just a bit more. Maybe you could have his pupils roll up or go internal before the eyes close, and perhaps add a little movement while he holds his eyes closed. Could he remove the tool from the patient's mouth in an interesting way?
I hope these notes help. Looking good!
Thanks for the quick feedback VIctor.
ReplyDeleteI was planning to bleep the f-bomb. I'm going to experiment with having the hand grab the light at the head of the shot to make it more clear. Let me see how I can best apply your notes.
Thanks again.
Alvin.
One quick question: you mentioned having his eyes possibly roll up before they eyes close. I'm not sure which part of the animation you were talking about when you said that.
ReplyDeleteI think i get it. The beginning when his eyes close. Thanks
ReplyDelete